Maura's been dumped in a voicemail. It was only a casual thing, but she's still stuck with those grim feelings that come with rejection: self loathing, anger, resentment, and an insatiable hunger for chocolate mousse. And bacon. And wine. To get out of this funk, she decides to take control. Her mate thinks she's a dope, but Maura's sure she'll win the guy over.

• Aoife Nic Ardghail